Healthy You Challenge

Nicole wrote a beautiful post the other day called Take Care. It really spoke to me on such a personal level because I've always been the person who did what she should do instead of what I wanted to do. I think if you read her post, you'll agree that it has a true sense of purpose.

Enjoy!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Take Care

The other day I read an article about a pill that could possibly be the "miracle cure" to obesity. *sigh* As a society we are deeply entrenched in the idea that pills are what we need to cure us of all sorts of ills. I'm not disputing the fact that pills can indeed BE miracles. I have no doubt that I'd still be depressed and stuffing my face on the couch right now if it weren't for my antidepressants. However, I also acknowledge that if I'd taken proper care of myself, I probably wouldn't have needed the pills.

If speaking kindly to a friend makes her feel good, why do we expect our body to respond positively to comments like "You're so fat!" or "Look at those WRINKLES. Ugh!" We wouldn't say such things to our worst enemy, but how many times a day do such destructive thoughts flit through our heads?

I am firmly convinced that the keys to keeping myself happy are exercise and nurturing my spirit. Funny, but with all the very competent doctors I've seen regarding depression, not one EVER mentioned caring for my soul as being important, and they only discussed exercise with me if I brought it up.

I'm afraid that we've become a society that only believes what can be proven by science after years of study. Sure, in many ways that's fantastic, but one side effect is that we're trained to ignore our intuitive side. We "can't" take an art class because we don't have time. You know, because we're so busy multi-tasking things that a month from now aren't going to make a bit of difference to anyone. We refuse to set boundaries and ask people to respect those boundaries. We wear clothes that fashion magazines say are in style or decorate our homes and yards in a manner that's currently in vogue, all the while ignoring our desire to have a living room with purple walls or pink flamingos on the yard. For what? What does that get us, really? Sure, maybe we won't be judged for decorating tastes, but rest assured you WILL be judged for something. YOU WILL BE JUDGED. Get over it.

The other day I ordered a canvas bag from LL Bean for my yoga stuff. I thought I "should" get a color scheme that is fairly conservative so that I can carry it and look somewhat sophisticated. I "shouldn't" get a monogram, or if I did, it "should" be just my initials or it "should" be Nicole.

You know what I DID, though? I got white canvas--which of course, I "shouldn't" have gotten because it gets dirty too easily--with lime green accents and a monogram that reads, "Nicki." Because I feel more like a "Nicki" than a "Nicole" lately. And when I take that bag into the high end rec center where my yoga class is, I'll be happy because it makes my heart sing. And I could care less if I get judged because I'm a Nicki instead of a Nicole.

Sometimes when I read the posts of women in their 20's my advice to them is to do something because inside I wish I would have done it at their age. The other day I read one of Lora's posts, Life is What Happens When You're Busy Making Other Plans... and I wish she would have said these words to me 20 years ago and more importantly, that I would have listened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life Is What Happens When You're Busy Making Other Plans...

Sometimes we read a post and it just breaks it all down in such a way that you're left saying YES thats EXACTLY what I needed to hear and HOW I needed to hear it to make it click in my brain. Several people pointed me to this post for just that reason and after I read it, I had to agree, Briy packed a powerful message into her post and she said it in several thought provoking ways.

Don't take my word for it, head on over to Briy - Bikini-Bound's blog and check it out for yourself! I've also posted the entry below for future reference.

Thank you Briy for this amazing post!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were a few things rolling around inside my head that I was thinking about blogging tonight, but today my thoughts have been pretty consumed by the following quotation:

It was easy to pick the blogger of the week because three of you emailed this post and asked that it be named blog post of the week.

As fate would have it, the wonderful Pattie who wrote this post is also celebrating her 51st birthday today! So not only would I like to say thank you to Pattie for a wonderful post, I'd like to wish her a very happy birthday!!

The post is called Yes or No? Pattie tells us she heard an expression "When you say Yes to something, you say NO to something else" How true is that? Below is the rest of Patties post but you should really head over to her blog to check it out for yourself...and wish her a happy birthday while you're over there!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Yes or No?

I heard an expression recently that keeps running through my head:

When you say YES to something, you say NO to something else.

Isn't that powerful?

For me, that expression is all about choices and consequences. Some are immediate. For instance: when I chose to go for a walk, I give up spending that time quilting. Bam! That 45 minutes is gone. Conversely, when I say YES to not exercising, I get the time to quilt, but I say NO to greater stamina and flexibility -- a more long-term consequence of my choice.

I think we all face that YES/NO question in many areas of our lives: how we use our time, how we spend our money, how we deal with our relationships, how we take care of ourselves.

If I say YES to a wonderful job I'm interviewing for this morning, I say NO to the freedom I've come to enjoy. If we say YES to giving our daughter the wedding of her dreams, we say NO to a secure retirement for ourselves. If I say YES to the choice to eat what I want, when I want it, I say NO to an active and healthy old age.

When you say YES to something, you say NO to something else.

It's all about choosing the direction we want to take in our lives. On days like today, however, I wish someone would give me a clear road map to follow!

Until next time...

This post was nominated because the blogger shares that feeling of not fitting into places that, an experience so many of us can relate to. I know I've written a post or two about it myself.

Her blog is titled Blogging Away The Pounds, I'm gonna kick fat's butt!! and I'm sure you will Trisha!

Her post is called Facing My Fatness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Facing My Fatness

Well, we're back home now. It was great visiting our family and watching my little girl play with the cousins she doesn't often get to see.

This trip really put me outside of my "comfort zone." (Maybe that's a good thing.) We really don't go that many places. Being fat and tired all the time probably has alot to do with that.

There was lots of eating out in restaurants, and each time I had to worry about booths. It all worked out okay, but I'll be so glad when I don't have to stress about that anymore!

Then there was one sticky moment when my sister-in-law took me to a cute and trendy little shop with narrow aisles and nooks crammed with jewelry and purses and all kinds of lovely things for the home. Not great place to go with your toddler...or if you have a big behind.

After recently reading about a truly horrifying experience in a gift shop on Escape From Obesity, I thought I was going to have my own when my butt brushed up againt a wooden sign and knocked it to the floor. I was mortified when it happened and stood there for a moment...eyes closed, wincing and waiting for more things to come crashing to the floor. Fortunately nothing broke, but the owner who was bustling about seemed alot less friendly after that little incident.

Finally, most of the time I'm used to just seeing myself from the neck up in the mirror above my bathroom sink, so the big mirror with the bright lighting over the sink in the hotel was certainly an eye opening experience. (Note to self: Big t-shirts don't hide anything. They just make you look like a big girl wearing a big shirt.)

You all know that Fat Man Skinny Wallet aka Blubba is a part of our challenge group but did you know that his wife, Mrs Blubba also follows along with him? Yes Blubba signed in last week to the HYC page but then later, MRS BLUBBA signed in!!

I found this post from Mrs Blubba and she needs OUR help!!

What do you think? Doesn't Mrs Blubba need her own blog? Even if she only updated it once a week? Read her post below and see for yourself!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


So, obviously, I don't post that often, because this is really Blubba's show. But I do visit here often, read and make suggestions to Blubba regarding his posts, and almost obsessively check the comments and Sitemeter. So I'm more of a "behind the scenes" participant over here at Fat Man...Skinny Wallet.

But I am coming out of the shadows briefly here, because, having read the comments obsessively, I have seen how supportive the Healthy You Challengers are to Blubba. Which is so fantastic; I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it. And I agree with all of you that Blubba is too self-denigrating about his weight loss, and I have told him as much before. I think he feels like what we've been doing isn't horribly difficult, so it must not be effective, and that any weight loss is therefore a lucky accident. Between me and all of you, we can convince him that he's working hard and seeing results.

But that kind of brings me to why I am appealing to you, HYC readers. I mentioned awhile ago that I want to lose about 20 pounds, and I've been working just as hard as Blubba. We've been working out and eating so much better over the last two weeks, and I'm so proud of us. We've been doing great! Except...well...I thought I would be seeing some results by now. Even half a pound. Something. But no, the faithful Tanita remains stuck on the same number it showed me two weeks ago. Maybe it's mad at us. But in the absence of psychological games being played by the scale, I'm left to wonder...why?

So I turn to you, HYC readers, in a craven request for a little boosting. I realize that I am not as overweight as Blubba, so I wouldn't expect to see dramatic results as quickly, but I don't think I am unrealistic in thinking that I could have seen a half a pound or pound coming off right away. Help me, HY Challengers, help me! Please give me reassurances that I'm doing the right things, and that the weight will come off! Those of you who have managed to lose the weight and get healthy (you are so my heroes, by the way!), how soon can I see some results, given that I don't have a huge amount to lose?

Thanks guys. I'm feeling a little weak today in resolve because of the lack of progress, and I hope you can help me buck up.

When I read Chanda's post titled Be Kind To Your Daughters I thought I wouldn't be able to relate to this post because I don't have a daughter. Wow, was I wrong. This post is written for every woman, of all ages and every man who has ever loved a woman or ever hopes to love a woman. Her message speaks volumes and we all need to take action to set a better example...today!

Thank you Chanda for this excellent post!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be Kind to Your Daughters.

I cleaned out my laundry room this weekend, which in and of itself is no big deal, other than it was a total disaster and it needed to be done. No, what makes this random act of organization note worthy is what I found while cleaning. An old box filled with even older books. High School Yearbooks. The time and place I consider to be the epicenter of my issues with self, body, and food. I'm sure the seeds of discontent were planted far earlier, but there, during that time in my life, is where I know in my heart of hearts there was a disconnect between what I actually looked like, and what I saw in the mirror. And there is where I was somehow derailed.

I sat down with a cup of coffee and my Freshman yearbook 1981-82, and there within its time yellowed pages, I saw a slender, confident, happy girl smiling back at me in her cheer leading outfit. I re-read all the signatures and notes to the "wild girl", the "cool chick" "always smiling", "friends forever" that literally covered the blank pages left for those types of things.

Cute, huh? That's what I see now, what anybody would see looking at this picture. I wish that was how I felt at the time. I'm 15 in that picture, and by then I had already been on more diets than I can count. I had been sneaking food since I was in 2nd grade, and had been binging and purging since 8th grade. Iwas completely caught up in the idea that I was fat.

My Sophomore Year held a similar, but slightly different story. I was no longer a cheerleader, even though I had been one the year before. I had to try out again(we all did), but was found lacking. Nothing had changed, other than I had stopped carrying around bottles of Ipecac syrup in my purse and was no longer puking up most of my food. So yes, I had gained about 15 lbs over the summer. So I told myself I didn't want to be a clique-ish cheerleader, and my best friend and I became the Banner Carriers for our Marching Band. OK.. a step down in the social hierarchy that is high school, but still involved, still smiling, still popular enough.



As I perused the pages of my yearbook I began to notice something in each picture I found, something no one else would really be able to see. In all my pictures, both freshman and sophomore year, I noticed there was no trust in my eyes. There was wariness, and an expectation that an axe would fall, and it would be an axe of words; warnings from parents who insisted I would be fat one day if I wasn't careful,of thinly veiled insults from boys who teased about fat cheerleaders, and crushes who said no.

And my 40 year old self got pissed off. I sat in my living room looking at my thin legs and normal waist line and wondered how "they" found that somehow lacking. I can see now how wrong they were,how wrong I was to give them that much power over me.

Years of self destructive eating, a war I have yet to win, may never completely win, all started long before high school. It started when my mother(who still to this day looks at herself through a fun house mirror),caught up in her own self destructive eating disorder, placed her fears of being fat and unlovable with me. It started when, as a prepubescent girl of 12 or 13,I went on my first diet. A diet that restricted my caloric intake to 1000 calories a day. I'm sorry, that's just insane.

So I can't help but worry for the young girls today, watching as their mothers (many of them my age)obsess and worry over being heavy, count every calorie and point they put in their mouths, perpetuate the idea that to be healthy is to diet, to be happy is to be (insert goal weight here). Are we placing the fears we've learned on the shoulders of future women? Ive been to the Weight Watcher meetings where mothers bring daughters too young to actively participate, but not too young to "watch and learn".

What message are we sending these girls? Why aren't we teaching them that to be happy is to be true to ourselves, to be kind to others, and to value what's inside, not outside? Why are we not teaching them to fuel their bodies with natural foods? To trust their bodies to tell them when they are hungry and when they are full, that artificial sweeteners and processed foods are poison? And why, for the love of god, are we not impressing upon them that BRATZ dolls are not to be used as a fashion guideline,and that the models and teen queens they see on TV are not normal? Why are they watching that crap in the first place?

Ive seen little girls cringe as their fathers, the first male role model they have, the one on which they base all other male relationships, tell them they can't eat that, they don't need that, they've had quite enough Thank you, then worry about being fat. They're not even out of elementary school for Christ's Sake! I've heard both parents comment about a heavy woman or child in none too flattering terms in front of their children. This has to make an impact, I honestly don't see how it can't.

I can't help but be horrified as I watch the birth of another eating disorder.

Perhaps I'm being overly dramatic, it's been known to happen. But it's my gut reaction and I have to go with it. I have experienced first hand what happens when well meaning parents place too much importance on the wrong things. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is be kind to your daughters, to your nieces, to granddaughters for that matter. Give them strength of self, confidence in their inner beauty, and kindness and respect for others, regardless of outwardly differences.

It's time to stop destroying ourselves from the inside out.

Its always nice to hear words of encouragement from others and kind words from others but do you take their words to heart and say the same thing about yourself? Are you being kind to yourself?

Sometimes the voices in our head say some pretty unkind things about us and quite frankly, its time to stop listening to them....

Cammy had a beautiful post on just this topic, Where Kindness Matters Most and I think its something we have to all work very hard at until its second nature.

If you aren't being kind to yourself, now is a good time to start. You are WORTHY!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where Kindness Matters Most

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. ~Lao Tzu

I came across this quote today and I copied it down, thinking I'd use it to remind myself to be kinder to others. While I'm generally a pretty nice person, I could certainly use a little reminder every now and then that the world is not really all about me.

So on about my day I went. Work, lunch, work, manicure, cardio--another exciting day in Cammy-land, as you can see.

Oh, but I forgot to mention the ritual! It's a new thing I've started recently, whenever I'm changing clothes, and it goes something like this: I pause to look in the mirror and obsess about my droopy breasts, my flabby belly, and my sagging thighs. I count the wrinkles, the ones that weren't there this time last year because my cheeks were so fat, and twist my neck from side to side to see the folds of excess skin ripple as I do so. And then I sum it up with one of two words: Yuk! or Gross!

On rare occasions, in the right lighting, I use both.

It was no different tonight, until a tiny inner voice piped up with, "Now exactly how is that 'kind'?"

I didn't have an answer, not a good one anyway, because it's not kind. It's downright cruel. There's no way I would ever say that to a friend, so why in hell would I ever say it to myself?

My body is not beautiful just now, at least not in the conventional sense of the word, and I'm not going to try to convince myself otherwise. For the record, I wouldn't do that to a friend either. But if asked, I'd damn sure be kind with my answer. I'd point out that this interim body is a work in progress, maybe add a reminder that the caterpillar-to-butterfly transition gets kind of icky in the middle part, but it all works out beautifully in the end. If we're talking close friend, I might even joke about the number of crunches in her future, and the newer, healthier me would offer to do them with her. Maybe I'd find more words of wisdom, but I know none of them would be "gross" or "yuk".

This is what I thought about when I was on the treadmill tonight, and I vowed to be kinder to myself, to give myself the gifts that build confidence, profoundness, and love. When I finished my cardio (and caught my breath), I dug out this poem I copied down years ago, and it's now taped to my bathroom mirror. It's the kindest thing I knew to do for myself.

Don't mind me, I'll just be here.

Waiting.

Patiently.

One of the things that I always stress about my journey is that I'm doing this for my health, not vanity, after all if we don't have our health, what do we have?

Pattie from Attitude Changes Everything is this week's featured blogger with her amazing post titled Be Good To Your Sweet Heart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When your heart speaks, take good notes. ~ Judith Campbell

Friday Featured Blogger – A Healthy Path

As part of taking control of my eating, I like to think of myself as the CEO of my life. I have a business plan outlining what I need to do to get the results I want, I’ve outlined goals and even outlined a few rewards along the way. Do you have a clear business plan for your journey? You wouldn’t jump in the car and try to drive to a new city without having a map or GPS would you? You have to know where you are going so you can get there. I’ve failed on countless diets because I failed to plan. Of course once you have the plan you have to actually follow the steps and take the action, you can’t spend weeks or months strategizing, you have to ACT!!

You are the CEO of your life, you don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to but if you haven’t made your healthy path “business plan”, the time is now.

Here is a fantastic post by R.E outlining what she needs to do to be a success titled Positive Weight Loss Strategies.

Don't forget to nominated YOUR choice for blogger of the week by emailing me at healthy you challenge @gmail.com, include a link to the post or the title of the post that you think is fabulous!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Postive Weight Loss Strategies

When the new year rolled around, I reflected back on 2007 and the success I've had at maintaining my healthy path. And, I wondered, what was giving positive results? Over the years, I've made dozens of attempts to lose weight, with marginal success. What was different? Was I doing something different this time around that produced success? Sure enough, I can identify tools and behaviors that seem to have made a difference. Please note, I'm not saying these are definitive weight loss strategies for everyone. These are simply what seems to be working for me.

Keep It Simple

Life is busy, and often stressful enough, that I didn't want my diet plan to be time consuming or demanding. The plan was given to me by the professionals at my weight loss clinic. They only asked I lose 1 - 2 pounds a week, which was a huge relief to me. Hearing that took a huge pile of anticipatory guilt off my shoulders. Eat 1800 - 2200 calories a day, and, because I'm the queen of mayonnaise, cheese, and potato chips, try and cut down on high fat foods. That's the plan. Simple and followable.

If you Bite it, Write It

On my first clinic appointment, they handed me a blank food log, and my stomach sank with dread. During my many Weight Watchers attempts, I failed miserably at this, with a log that looked perfect and reflected little of the reality of what I ate. I had so much shame and guilt when I didn't eat healthy; how could I possible record the reality of what I ate? I had to get over it, and I did by actually keeping a realistic log. I record the food, the amount, and the calories and fat grams for meals and snacks. The more you do this, the easier it gets. My goal is to record every other day, just because life is busy. And, though part of me hates to admit this, when I regularly write down what I eat, I stay on track and lose more.

Weigh Once a Week, Even When You Gain

This was a very difficult strategy. I have buckets of fear and loathing about the scale anyway. But, if I wasn't faithful at doing this, if I didn't look reality in the face every week, how could I make a change? So, every Monday morning, I stepped on that scale, even when I knew I had gained. Doing so kept the times of struggle from sabotaging my effort and the scale became less of a bogey man. During the year, I saw a pattern developing, usually with three consecutive weeks of loss, followed by a week of plateau or gain. I realized this was the ebb and flow of my body and psyched adjusting to the change. The fluctuations were okay. I learned I don't have to be perfect.

Stock the Kitchen Healthy and Generous

When you need to eat, when you are starving, sometimes you just can't wait. Unfortunately, it's easier to grab fast food that's packed with calories, fat, and sodium. To combat this, I learned to keep plenty of healthy meal and snack options at home. I kept foods I liked to eat, that I could eat and then eat some more, when I needed to, that didn't end up piling on calories. For example, I love soup. Broth based soups are usually low in calories and high in comfort factor. So, several times a month, I'd simmer up a pot of vegetable soup. Making this effort gives me the opportunity to have satisfying and healthy food when I want it.

Eat Plenty of Carbohydrates and Fruit

On my initial return clinic visit, the dietician looked over my first food log, and said I needed to eat more carbohydrates. And, I thought, Huh??! Back when rocks were soft, and I first attended Weight Watchers, carbs and fruit were rather limited. There was no concept then of "healthy carbs." Plus, my mother had always pushed protein as the food you want to eat most. Hearing that I should eat more carbs seemed a contradiction to weight loss. I was surprised when I added the carbohydrates, that the weight loss continued. I also rediscovered fruit. Somewhere along the way, I'd nearly stopped eating it. Most days now, I have three or four servings of fruit and enjoy the refreshing taste and feeling it gives me.

Plan Healthy Menus & Go Food Shopping

I loathe grocery shopping. However, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out, if I wanted to eat healthy on a regular basis, I needed to plan weekly menus in order to have the right ingredients on hand for fixing those healthy meals. Taking the time to plan and shop (sigh) in advance is key to sustaining things. Yes, I know life pulls us, and our time, in a hundred directions. But, don't we deserve that investment of time towards a healthy future?

Find Healthy Choices on the Menu

We eat out frequently. When out to dinner, I would feel deprived if I didn't have an appetizer, soup, an entree, and sometimes even dessert. But, even I recognized that I couldn't eat meat and potatoes with extra butter and sour cream every night forever. So, I've learned to order healthier entrees, choosing dishes that don't make me feel deprived. When the food is put in front of me, I study the plate before I eat and plan my serving size in advance. Most of the time I stick to it and take home leftovers. If I feel like another portion, I eat it without beating myself up about doing so.

Walk During Breaks

Exercise is a huge bugaboo for me. I totally understand all the benefits of exercise, yet many days, just erase the idea from my mind. However, I have been walking at least 3 times during the work week. Sometimes I even make 5 times. That walking break is 15 minutes more exercise than I would have previously got. I recognize this is an area where I need to make major improvement. But, I still seem to be in "not ready to consider it" mode right now.

Untangle Food & Emotion

During this past year, I finally admitted there was a huge emotional component contributing to my ongoing obesity. Admitting that was tough. Addressing it was, and often continues to be, excruciatingly difficult. In my heart of hearts, I recognize that working through these issues is key to keeping my weight loss permanent. That's the only way I'll ever break my connection/addiction to food. Understanding our relationship to food, and how it impacts on emotional health, is probably the biggest challenge for those of us who are morbidly obese.

As I was writing my list, I was surprised to discover just how many changes I had made and I worried that it might overwhelm someone trying to take a first step on the healthy path. But, I didn't start a single one of these strategies last Jan. 1st. These changes came in increments. As the weeks went by, I thought about a needed change, lived with the idea for a while, and then tried it on. Take one step at a time. Those single steps give the power to change a life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday Blogger of the Week - Hanlie of Fertile Healthy

I’m such a fan of Hanlie’s blog and when I got several emails nominating her for blogger of the week I knew I wasn’t alone in admiring her writing. Her post titled “I Do”caught the eye of several of you and just in case you missed it, I’ve copied and pasted it below. Its one of those posts that is worth reading and rereading!! Thank you Hanlie for your beautiful analogy of life and dieting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A number of years ago I met a girl in a bar, who recognized me from 6th grade. She took my number and actually phoned me! Nobody does that! We became friends. We were both single and unlucky in love. Our prospects looked bleak.

Then she met the one! And went from seeing me 4-5 times a week to about 4-5 times a year. We spoke on the phone pretty regularly and I kept up to date with the goings on in her life. After about a year they got engaged. I became grateful for the infrequent visits, because this girl went into wedding overdrive! During the 10 months before the wedding, she became a professional bride! It was painful to see…

The wedding was a huge success and even I enjoyed it. A mere three months later I got a late night phone call, asking if she could come over. Trouble in paradise. They had spent so much time planning the wedding that they never thought about planning their marriage. They were on the brink of divorce. Fortunately they were mature enough to go for counselling and now, three years later, they’re fine and happy.

I was just thinking today that most obese people are professional dieters. Just like the professional bride with all her catalogues, bridal books, magazines and samples, we have shelves filled with every conceivable, book, plan, and recipe, all the “must-have” exercise equipment (from which we hang our clothes), diet “stuff” on the refrigerator door, expired diet milkshakes in dark corners of our kitchen, scales in the bathroom and on the kitchen counter. We know our stuff. We do graphs. We log our food. We read Shape magazine. We watch Oprah and The Biggest Loser. We blog and join challenges. We count calories and set goals.

There are people who do this year in and year out. Most of us have. I’ve been familiar with the plan I’m following for more than 7 years now. I’ve told people about it, I’ve written about it, but I haven’t actually permanently implemented it. I’ve spent a lot of time “getting ready to start”.

I’ve now started. Seven years down the line. But starting is just a very small part of this… Now comes the “marriage”. The ups and the downs. The adapting. The disappointments and the moments that take your breath away. The waning of passion and the growth in intimacy. The getting comfortable in your routine. The tears and the laughter.

And I say: “Bring it on!”

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” ~ George Elliot

I’ve been reading through blogs and I’ve read some amazing posts but this one really hit home with me. Krissie wrote that she was tired of seeing the blogs with people who put themselves down because they are; fat, lazy, can’t do anything right or will never reach their goal…well, she wrote a fabulous post about it and turned it into a meme list and just in case you missed it, I’m posting it here today for EVERYONE to see because its SO WORTH READING!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know what? I'm done.

It started with the million blogs I have been reading today. So many people are so down on themselves. I keep reading such degrading comments. "I can't do anything right." "I'm lazy." "I'm never going to meet my goal." "Why do I even try?"

And then I take a shower (after a very exhausting gym session, mind you). I put on my favorite grey lounge pants and my favorite green t-shirt, and I get pissed. I've busted my arse. And I don't see any difference in the way I look. Why do I even try?

I'm one of these self-defeating people myself.

And then I got angry.

I am who I say I am. If I say I'm fat and lazy...Guess what? I'm fat and lazy. If a friend called me the names I call myself, she would no longer be my friend. (And I'd try very hard not to call names back.) I would cut my husband off if he spoke any of the words I say to myself. No wonder I have a hard time getting past my fat. I can be mean and nasty.

If I say that I'm getting my life together and my new life is one of health, then I am a healthy person. That's it. No excuses. No justifications. No arguments. I am who I am, and I am radically different than I was several weeks ago. Screw the scale. Screw the exercise bike. Screw the voices in my head. I LOVE ME and I AM KICKING IT!

Amen.

And to further my Kicking Ass attitude, I am very strongly encouraging you to do the same. We need lists. We need positive things to remind ourselves of when we are down on ourselves. So this is my challenge to you. Complete the list on your blog, leave me a comment, and I will link you. I will be listing my answers in my blog later today with my food pictures.

Here we go!

THE ONLY RULE: No backhanded compliments. No "I like my eyes 'cause they distract from my incredibly large ass." Only positives.

The "I LOVE ME" List

1. What do you absolutely love about your body?

2. When did you surprise yourself with your physical strength?

3. When were you braver than you ever thought you could be?

4. When did your self-control blow you away?

5. What is your proudest moment ever?

6. When was the last time you felt absolutely beautiful?

7. Why do you deserve to meet your goals?

Come on, ladies. Let's get off the pity pot and be better because we deserve it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've noticed that several of you have already filled out your "I love me" list and they've been wonderful to read, so now its your turn, challenge yourself to sit down and list things about yourself that you love. Take it a step beyond and list some of your other fabulous characteristics. Enough of the negative self talk....Lets start taking steps towards changing the self sabotaging talk and behavior right here, right now!

Chubby Chick of Gotta Lose 200 Pounds fame has graciously agreed to be the first blogger featured on our Friday Blogger featured post. Remember, if you'd like to nominate a great post from one of our bloggers, make sure you email me!!!

I recently read one of her posts and while I always say how much alike we are in our weight loss journey, now it seems we have similar ideas about tracking goals but she has taken it one step further and inspired me to do the same.

Check out her recent Calendar Girls post….

So... it seemed like a lot of you liked the idea of getting a calendar and giving yourself a sticker for every day that you are "on plan." I had originally seen the idea posted on some other blogs, and I decided to jump on the wagon, too. Who hasn't wanted to be a "Calendar Girl," right? lol Well... I've never really wanted to BE one... I'd just love to one day actually LOOK good enough to be one. hehe So... go ahead... jump on the wagon and be a "Calendar Girl." It will be fun and motivating. If you do it, post a pic of your calendar at the end of the month, or let us know how many stickers you got. And if you've earned a reward... let us know what that was, too.

HOW?
1. Get a calendar and some stickers.
2. Give yourself a sticker for every "on plan" day.
3. Work out a system of rewards.
4. Post a pic of your calendar at the end of the month.
5. Copy this pic, and post it on your blog along with monthly sticker stats and earned rewards.
7. HAVE FUN!

WOW what a great idea!! When I started exercising I started marking the calendar every day I exercised. Chubby Chick marks her calendar with a sticker for every “on plan” day and worked out a reward system. Visual reminders are such a strong tool. When I look back at my exercise calendar and see the days without the blue dot, it makes me even more determined to reach my goals.

Chubby Chick has taken it a step further by implementing a reward system and starting a club.
Her outline is above!

What a great tool!! I hope everyone grabs a calendar and starts tracking their progress or implements it in a way that works for them. Visual reminders are such an excellent motivator!

So now instead of just putting dots on the calendar, I'm using her sticker and reward system. Because my goals include eating on plan, cardio and strength training, I’m going to use stickers for each of them.

Green: on plan
Red: cardio completed
Blue: strength training

At the end of the week I’m going to add up the number of stickers and pay myself 50 cents for each sticker and at the end of the year, I’m going to use the money for a fabulous spa day or something else fun for ME!!

I also want to figure out a monthly reward, but if you know me, you know thats always been the difficult part for me. I have a hard time rewarding myself. I wonder if anyone else struggles with that?

What do you want to acknowledge and be rewarded for? Don’t want to use stickers? Get different colored markers or just draw a star with a pen. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy, just a small reminder of your goals and that you are doing a great job!

It doesn’t have to be an expensive calendar; it can be a small one you keep at your desk or even on your refrigerator. You don’t have to share the meaning of the stickers with anyone else if you don’t want to. You can keep it small and private or you can make it large and bold! I use a calendar I’ve downloaded from Microsoft Office. Right about now, 2008 calendars should be going on sale. I’ve even seen decent calendars at the dollar store. So why not use Chubby Chicks idea for a visual tool and play along? It’s fun, it’s easy and it’s a great way to stay motivated!

Thank you for sharing your idea Chubby Chick!!!